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A Very Helpful List of Random Excuses.

By February 9, 2015

random-excuses

  • I won’t be coming to work today because I love Keanu Reaves.
  • I won’t be coming to work today because my fortune cookie said not to.
  • I won’t be coming to work today because I have eyebrow hairs that won’t go the right way.
  • I won’t be coming to work today because I’m locked inside my house.
  • I won’t be coming to work today because I have dandruff.
  • I can’t go out with you because my teeth hurt.
  • I can’t go out with you because there’s an uneven number of steps between my front door and my car.
  • I can’t go out with you because fluorescent lighting makes me itch.
  • I can’t go out with you because my horoscope said not to hang around people who wear velvet.
  • I can’t go out with you because my dog is fat.
  • I didn’t finish it because my neighbour is learning to play the violin.
  • I didn’t finish it because I have vertigo.
  • I didn’t finish it because Katy Perry stole my car in my dream.
  • I didn’t finish it because I have an ingrown hair complex.
  • I didn’t finish it because I was on a really long Easter Egg hunt.